When I was 16, I thought my life would be totally different by now. I thought I’d be married with a kid and a husband. I also thought I’d be a singer, touring around the country all year long. Not really sure how those two could correlate. But that was my big plan then. Numerous jobs, friends, relationships, and hairstyles later, I want to give my 16-year-old self this list of sincere advice.
1. Don’t go to college if it feels like it’s not what you want to do. Gap year is still a thing. But don’t waste the gap year sitting on the couch in your parents’ house. Go and try different jobs. Volunteer. Do anything creative – sing, dance, paint. This year will give you an understanding of what you really love to do. It will be much easier to understand where you want to study or work later.
2. Some people who were calling you fat, are now much bigger than you. Also, they are still stuck in your hometown. So chill, weight isn’t everything. You can eat that burger. Just not after midnight.
3. Sometimes food and sleep are much better than sex. So don’t compromise a good sleep and a good pasta for “maybe” some sex. Sex is a draw. Are you lucky enough?
4. Don’t be embarrassed about your virginity. You don’t have to do it with whoever just to get rid of it. Also, don’t wait for your husband to be the first. So much fun will be missed. Do it when it feels right and when you feel mentally ready.
5. Don’t buy all those clothes. This is a waste of money. You don’t need 10
6. Don’t get depressed that you cannot afford something. Go get a job. Own money is a life changer. Also, save more. While you’re single and kid-free, save at least 50% of what you earn.
7. Never text a guy after a breakup and keep asking him why he did this or that. First of all, if he broke up with you without even telling a reason – he’s a faint-hearted jerk that doesn’t deserve your big dick energy. Second, don’t even bother finding a reason, that’s not your problem anymore. Maybe, yeah, cry for a few days just to let go all these negativity and then just go an enjoy your life – get a new dress, a dancing classes membership, go to some spa center. Travel to a new country. Buy a dog. Whatever.
8. Just cause somebody likes you and there is nobody else worthy enough, doesn’t mean you have to start a relationship with that person not to be single. Being single is glorious. In fact, if you don’t get to be single for some time in your life, again, so much fun will be missed.
9. Avoid parties in closed rooms with alcohol and drugs. Drunk and drugged people, even your “friends”, can turn out really ugly under the influence of the substances. Sexual abuse is a very real threat.
10. Cultivate friendships. Friends are very important both in good and bad times. But also be cautious about who you have around. Cultivate as many friendships as possible. As you get older that number shrinks so much and you might end up with zero good friends. At least one real truest friend is already a treasure.
11. Spend more time with parents. If somebody really loves you, that’s them. And they will be gone soon. Specifically, try to build a good relationship with the parent who you actually always had tension with. It might hurt the most if you don’t.
12. Don’t get married too soon. Just don’t. Marriage is a huge responsibility. It’s not a cute dress, and a photo shoot, and cuddling on the weekends. It’s a lot of work. If you’re too lazy to cook soup for yourself, it’s not the right time yet. Also, how confident are you about your partner?
13. Men do get caught up on huge boobs, but if they love you, they will love you even with your “clementines”. And whatever else it is there that you worry about – stretch marks, your butt shape, your legs, any scars that you might have on your body, hair or no hair – the right person will find a way to love you as a whole. And if he or she doesn’t – that’s not the right person then.
14. And here is the main one – never let anyone kill your dreams. You can do it all but don’t wait for the right time because it will never come unless you decide that the right time is now.