You might expect it. You might not. Divorce is like an earthquake cutting the ground from our feet and destroying that little
1. Tracey Lewis, Owner of Tracey Teaches Biz
Our custody battle lasted almost three years, but I found that the harder things got, the stronger I felt.
My divorce was sudden and unexpected. One day I was living in my dream home with my two adorable children and the man I had adored since high school. And a few weeks later my children and I were moving into a crappy rental house with not much more than the clothes on our backs. I had quit my demanding job on the advice of my attorney. I was lucky enough to find a part-time job that I could work around my kids’ schedules and my husband had agreed to pay ample child support. Well, like many other divorcing women, I found that the child support never actually came, and part-time income was not going to even cover my rent so I needed to find another way to make money without trading time with my kids.
I was fortunate to have a background in entrepreneurship as I had run a couple of different businesses before and during my marriage. So the first steps were pulling together some start-up money, and getting my head on straight. You see, my confidence was in the toilet. My ex-husband suddenly turning on us , left me feeling like there was no one I could trust, least of all myself.
Little by little, I started feeling like I was me again. And yet, the “me” that emerged in the months after he put us out was an even better version than the one I had been before. Our custody battle lasted almost three years, but I found that the harder things got, the stronger I felt. And the more I felt called to help other women going through divorce to find their own best selves.
Keep realistic expectations. Don’t spend money you don’t have, or can’t afford to part with investing in your business. Be realistic about the time that it is going to take to get your business off the ground and making money. Remember, that if you don’t believe in yourself, you aren’t going to be able to convince anyone else to believe in you either. Do the mindset work to see yourself as worthy of success before you get started
2. Jen Gutfriend, Love and Relationship Coach at Jen Gutfirend
It seemed like I was making the same mistakes over and over again until I finally almost gave up and actually decided to be single for a while and just focus on me and my happiness.
I started my business because I knew I wasn’t the only one struggling to find real love, especially after divorce. But it seemed like I was making the same mistakes over and over again until I finally almost gave up and actually decided to be single for a while and just focus on me and my happiness. And that led me to meeting my dream man and the rest is history.
I wanted to show women the fast track to where I got and to find their Mr. Right quickly and easily. My first steps were to test my concept out on a few women to see if what I learned could help others. Once I proved to myself that it would work it was time to tell the world.
The biggest advice I can give is don’t listen to everyone and their advice. Not everyone is going to be supportive and may even try to talk you out of it more than once. But if you are sure that this is what you want then go for it! Oh, and find someone to help you. A coach or mentor or someone. No one is an island and we all need help. We can’t know everything and having someone knowledgeable in our corner to help us is the fastest way to success.
3. Sacheen Mobley, Strategist and Life Planner at Living and Loving Your Best/Dr. Sacheen
I looked at what I was good at, what I had experience in, and what I could do with minimal start-up costs but high return if I did it right.
I was a momma with a career and a small child. I knew I didn’t want to have daycare raising my child and I didn’t want to fall into the poverty trap that so many divorced mothers fall into.
I looked at what I was good at, what I had experience in, and what I could do with minimal start-up costs but high return if I did it right. I was already a teacher so moving into mindset coaching seemed like a natural fit.
Do it. There isn’t any reason not too. In the process, you will discover not only what you are good at, but that your impact can be much bigger than you ever dreamed possible.
4. Alecia Bailey Kryworuka, Owner at Dream Team Digital Marketing, Inc.
I spent a lot of time getting to know people in Facebook groups and offering help and once I landed my first big client, I started to get referrals and it snowballed from there.
I started my business because as a single mom with Rheumatoid Arthritis and two children that have mental health diagnosis, I was not able to work outside home. Starting my own business gave me the flexibility to take care of not only myself but my two children and be available to deal with appointments, crisis, school, etc.
My first steps were to define the type of business I wanted to start and to create a niche. I have a business and technical background so I went with my tech skills to start out as a VA (virtual assistant). Tech is something I’m passionate about and will get me up in the morning. I spent a lot of time getting to know people in Facebook groups and offering help and once I landed my first big client, I started to get referrals and it snowballed from there.
Stay on the course. It’s not going to be easy and it will take some time. Don’t believe the hype of “you can make 5 figures in 3 months”. Look at your skills and what you are passionate about and then put yourself out there. Get support! Whether that be from friends, family, or online. Finally, self-care is so critical. I take time for myself one day during the week, while the kids are in school, to do things for me – ride horses, get a massage, go to therapy, workout, take a walk, even veg out in front of the TV for a while and rest up.
5. Susanna Marilu, Owner at 2BEGR8 & Alta-Formation
I was also running for my life, because my then husband wanted to kill me. He tried twice in one day, which made me took my stuff and go to my father’s place.
Funny to say, but I didn’t start after my divorce. I started during my process of divorce. It was not planned. My then employer was also going through a divorce. He told me that he couldn’t hold me, because he didn’t know if he had enough money to keep paying all workers. When my colleagues knew the truth, they confronted him with it, which made him pay me two months without me working.
It was a season where I really needed to trust God like never before. It was a season of going immediately full-time entrepreneur and trusting God that my then soon to be ex-husband wouldn’t come after me again or ask for money before the judge. Not only that, but I was also running for my life, because my then husband wanted to kill me. He tried twice in one day, which made me took my stuff and go to my father’s place.
I was even at a shelter of the victim support houses for a whole week because the police asked me to go undercover for a period of time. But, me wanting to start my business, made me refuse to stay longer running away and staying in a shelter, so I came out with all consequences and against all opinions of the police and social workers. It felt like I was the criminal and he was living his life.
So, I refused to live like that, I trusted God that if He brought me this far, that He will work it out for me. One of my friend’s which I knew for a very long time, asked me to be her business partner. So, that way we started seeking information and made it happen immediately.
Don’t allow your post-divorce feelings hold you back in achieving your dreams. The feelings, pain, hurt can take time. It doesn’t mean that during that time your life needs to stay in the same place.
6. Sadie L Harper, Owner at Southern Ambition
I’d been staying home with the children for thirteen years and had no income, no savings, and no means to get any money.
The opposing party refused to financially support my children and me. When I initiated separation, my ex-partner came back and used his vehicle to block the children and me in my residence, telling me he was coming back in no matter what, that I was not permitted to end the marriage, and that even the police would not help me. In addition, I knew he had a handgun with him because he took it when he left.
I hid with the children in a hotel for three days over the weekend until I got a restraining order from a judge. He violated the restraining order and was sent to jail for three days. Then he sued me for custody in order to get out of paying child support (which did not work in his favor). That was the first two, very tumultuous, weeks of my separation.
I’d been staying home with the children for thirteen years and had no income, no savings, and no means to get any money. I didn’t know how to pay bills. Because he’d already refused to give me money for groceries to feed the children, I went to the church we’d been going to, in order to ask for assistance. They refused to get involved – said they didn’t want to take sides. Somewhat broken, but not defeated, I signed the children and myself for food stamps and Medicaid.
In those early months of divorce, I decided to enter graduate school. I knew I was not marketable, having not worked in more than a decade; as well, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. But grad school was a strategic decision on many levels – it gave me access to financial aid on which I subsisted for three years.
Toward the end of grad school, in the spring of 2017, I saw the end looming and anxiety began to choke me again. What would I do? Do I find a traditional in-house job at a company? Do I start my own thing (and what would that be)? Do I continue and get another degree in order to have more loan money until I can figure it out?
In December, I finally struck upon the business name “Southern Ambition”. Along the way, the clients have come. The income has come. And it’s humbling as well as rewarding, and personally satisfying to see my efforts bear fruit in these ways. I had nothing: no investors, no savings, no formal business setup, no website – all the things the world says you must have to be successful.
You are more powerful than you believe you are, and you have the skills to change your world. And nothing you do in life quite compares or gives the same depth of satisfaction, on a professional and personal level.
Do it for your kids! I am watching my older daughter, knowing she’s taking this in. I want her to see the possibility for herself. My son – I want him to know women are powerful and capable and worthy of regard.
Know that people will choose sides. If they choose the other side, they’re not your people; walk away – you will find those who belong to you. Walk away, breathe, and recenter yourself on your mission. Then, move forward.
Read how This Female Hustler Survived Trauma and Became A Life Coach.