So many people believe that when they are in a relationship, the other person is supposed to make them happy. We put all of our effort into believing that we need someone else to make us feel happy, and when they don’t make us happy, we leave them. The thing is, we are responsible for our own happiness, not the happiness of other people. The reverse is also true – no one is responsible for making us happy. They can be happy and you can be happy, and you can be happy together. Without that, there’s no real relationship to enjoy at all.
You deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship where you enhance your happiness as a pair. You deserve to feel equal, seen and heard with the person that you have chosen. If you don’t know how to make yourself happy, it’s much harder to empower yourself and feel confident and in control in your relationship. The problem is that we mostly grow up around people who don’t display how to be happy and healthy in a relationship. It’s why the divorce rate is so high, and it’s why you might have contacted the experts and done some research on https://www.browndahan.com/what-we-do/divorce/. Thankfully, we can learn healthy behaviour and we can be the happy, shiny people we hope to be in a relationship. You don’t have to be in an unhappy relationship and you can learn to empower yourself to feel strong enough to walk away from one.
You deserve to say “no” and not apologize for it. Being in a relationship should feel good and it should be a two-way effort for both of you. If you are living with someone who makes you feel like cr*p, then – as Cristina Yang says – if you want cr*ppy things to stop happening to you, stop accepting cr*p and demand something better. If you don’t want something, say no. Don’t expect the person that you love to know how to read your mind; if you WANT something, ask for it and don’t apologise for dictating what you need. The person you’re with can either meet those needs or not – and if not, there will be someone else who can. Empower yourself to say no to bad situations and don’t people-please your way through life.
While you’re busy getting up the courage to empower yourself to say no, you need to be clear with the person you’re seeing. Make clear decisions about your future and don’t ask permission to do the things you want to do. Discuss and compromise, don’t be told what to do. If you are constantly being told what to do, it’s easy to go along with it for the sake of peace in a relationship, but that doesn’t help your inner peace. So, start learning to make decisions and have the courage you need to stand up for yourself. If something upsets you, don’t be afraid – speak up and say it out loud. You deserve to feel happy and whole, not sad and alone. Empower yourself, girl. It’s time.
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